September 06, 2007 | Rick Salasar

Expat Issues | Further to the Speedo Menace

In response to The Speedo Menace, Sean writes "Why are men told not to wear a speedo and women are told they can wear what ever they want to. I have woren a speedo in High School, College and beyond. Know at 30 years old I still look great in one. People need to mind their own business. I do not see people complaning about women wearing thongs. I do not think anyone should(man or woman)wear a thong and women should not go topless on the beach either!!!!"

You went "beyond College"? Why shouldn't women go topless on the beach? Surely someone as educated as you would see the lunacy in believing that the very sources of our first sustenance in this world are not natural and beautiful but ugly, offensive and bad. By the way, this isn't you, is it?

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Posted by Rick Salasar at 06:46 PM | Make a Comment! (8) | TrackBack (0)

August 30, 2007 | Lance Powers

Expat Issues | Thailand Finally Unblocks YouTube

Yep I thought my AppleTV was going to be completely useless until just a few minutes ago when I noticed that CAT (Communication Authority of Thailand) finally removed the ban on YouTube. If you remember, the Kingdom officially banned the popular website way back in April, over a lewd and quite disrespectful video of HM the King. While the video was eventually removed by YouTube, citizens of Thailand still had their access to the website blocked. Well, some of them - I'll admit that I was never really blocked from YouTube, after building myself a handy SSH tunnel, but it was a real pain in the ass to be forced to do so.

So why the change of heart? Perhaps they were overwhelmed with complaints? Or maybe a rich politician's son was miffed about missing so many episodes of LonelyGirl15. Most likely it is an attempt to pander to voters in the upcoming *cough* democratic elections *cough*. All I can say is that, while the incident was truly unfortunate, it really says a lot about the country's love of the monarchy.

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Posted by Lance Powers at 07:43 PM | Make a Comment! (6) | TrackBack (0)

August 26, 2007 | Rick Salasar

Expat Issues | Tired of the Usual Nonsense Farang in Thailand (UNFIT)

Khun Rick's autustic/ADD/OCD/PTSD brain has been hard at work lately and has come up with another superlative acronym. So sorry it's not the usual handy TLA.

UNFIT - Usual Nonsense Farang in Thailand

MAN, I am SO bored of these guys. They are EVERYWHERE. Oh, and they are all such incredibly successful, brilliant, knowledgeable, experienced, well-travelled mavens of all that is good and reason to be proud.

First, let me reiterate the best answer for the UNFIT's classic moaning and bitching.

If you HATE Thailand so much, leave! That's right. Get the hell out. If you are so saddened, maddened and down-traddened (OK, that's supposed to be "trodden" but I have to use "un"poetic license to make it work.) by what passes for your life in Thailand, the exits are wide open. So go. Get out. Really. Leave. Puleeeeaaase. Nobody, least of all you, apparently, wants you here.

I recently visited Thai immigration and ended up sitting next to a young farang. I decided to bust out of my usual shell of self-absorption and ventured to break the ice with my new neighbour.

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Posted by Rick Salasar at 02:01 PM | Make a Comment! (3) | TrackBack (0)

August 18, 2007 | Rick Salasar

Expat Issues | The McThai Bangkok Breakfast FAQ

We had a lot of emails asking for more information about McDonalds McBreakfast Hits McBangkok! so we put together a little FAQ to answer the most popular questions.

Where are the select locations that I can get jiggy with my hashbrowns?

So far, only at Amarin Tower, The Mall Ngamwongwan, Robinson Sukhumvit and Center One. But I have not spied those dreaded little words "for a limited time only"--lovers of the Shamrock Shake know what I am talking about, so hopefully McBfast is here to stay.

Do they come if you choose the McDelivery option?

This I am not sure about--when you McDeliver, does it go to a central computer and locate the McD nearest you which then completes the order? For first time users, you may want to go to the above branches. Also, the lovely staff is not quite versed in the menu and this morning, I got a Sausage (cough) Burger instead of the Sausage and Egg Burger that my being was crying out for. A mix up in your order? In Thailand? I can hear you thinking, Surely, she jests...

Sausage and Egg Burger?!--Put down the crack pipe, Suya--everyone knows that a McMuffin requires a muffin.

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Posted by Rick Salasar at 01:15 PM | Make a Comment! (2) | TrackBack (0)

August 16, 2007 | Rick Salasar

Expat Issues | McDonalds McBreakfast Hits McBangkok!

McYay!!!

If there's one Kowalski Kowalitee Klassiq™ institution from the greatest font of popular culture the universe has ever seen that has escaped the grasps of eager, nay undernourished, farang and Thai alike, it's the McDonald's McBreakfast.

Well word has arrived from one of our vast army of correspondents that the McB of McD has arrived!

Hello all,

I was in Amarin searching for an open optical shop when I got passed a flyer that I COULD NOT IGNORE.

That's right, McD breakfast is now available in select locations until 11 am in good old Bangkok.

A few caveats--there are no hotcakes (I know, I know) and all the sandwiches are on burger buns rather than McMuffins, but once we start our elaborate campaign revealing the origins of the muffin to actually be from Sukhothai era warriors for Thai sovreignty, I am sure this will change.

I couldn't leave you guys wondering so I had to sample it myself.

Pics attached.

Enjoy!

PS I know the socio-economic ramifications, not to mention health consequences, of the purchase and consumption of this stuff. But any port in a storm, I say.

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Posted by Rick Salasar at 09:59 PM | Make a Comment! (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 13, 2007 | Rick Salasar

Culture | Thailand, Mexico Brawl in World University Games Soccer Match

Tempers flared big time in today's World University Soccer Games match in Bangkok between Thailand and Mexico.

Thai television news showed plenty of video from the bout, I mean match. In scenes resembling North American bush league ice hockey (Slap Shot, anybdy?) than good-natured displays of university sporting prowess, the game descended into violent farce after a clash between Thai player Amarin Yaodam and a member of the Mexican posse.

A number of Thai police rushed onto the pitch to settle the, ahem, pitched battle but they had their work cut out as impromptu tryouts for Aussie League flared up around, and to the sides of, the playing/bashing field.

Ultimately, Canadian referee Paul Ward dished out red cards to perhaps between four and six players (as of posting, the number could not be confirmed). At least one member of the coaching staff was visible on camera throwing a solid punch.

By now, the video has doubtless has been seen around the world. There was no immediate word on whether or not players would be punished by having to wear pink Hello Kitty armbands.

Posted by Rick Salasar at 11:53 PM | Make a Comment! (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 20, 2006 | Lance Powers

News | Bangkok Coup Videos

It would appear that Thailand has fallen under a monarch sanctioned military coup around 11:00 PM last night. Apparently Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra decided to sack one of his top generals during a video conference as the PM was getting ready to address the UN security council in New York. Woooops.

As of today there are tanks rolling around my neighbourhood and martial law has been declared for the next couple of days. The radio is reporting that curfew is set at 9:00 PM and groups of 5 or more civilians loitering outside is not allowed. The media blackout was lifted a few hours ago.

I found this software a life saver for getting CNN during the day.

Most foreign embassies are advising its citizens in Thailand to avoid areas of Bangkok where government buildings are located. Although it is peaceful so far I think that’s not a bad suggestion.

Today was the lightest traffic on the roads I think I have ever seen in Bangkok. The highlight of my day was driving through a military checkpoint and finally getting to use the classic line 'these are not the droids you’re looking for'.

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Posted by Lance Powers at 07:14 PM | Make a Comment! (4) | TrackBack (0)

May 17, 2006 | Lance Powers

Culture | Da Vinci Code Banned in Thailand

Yep it’s true. THE DA VINCI CODE will be censored in Thailand after the Police Registration Division succumbed to pressure from local Christians. According to Reuters they are gonna hack off the last 10 minutes. I would say I am surprised by this but the ewoks have stopped surprising me with their shenanigans many years ago - therefore I blame the Christians.

But seriously let’s think this through a minute. Hacking off the last 10 minutes and perhaps the end film cliffhanger (if it’s the same as the book) will guarantee a 50% loss in theater traffic no? Like who would be stupid enough to go see that? I will be happy to lead the charge to Silom to secure a pirated copy. Local DVD gangsters will be hella pleased! I mean how retarded are these religious zealots?

Speaking of retarded, I see that Muslims are outraged as well as bible thumpers. Hey fringe freaks – guess what? It’s FICTION. Just a story ya? We promise we won’t get confused and think Jesus was down with the bitches and sired a bunch of brats. Okays? You freaking lunatics.

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Posted by Lance Powers at 01:02 PM | Make a Comment! (3) | TrackBack (0)

August 28, 2005 | Rick Salasar

Random Blather | Rick Salasar's Handy and Indisputable Guide: Part 3

Who woulda thunk it?!! (See why I ain't teechina da eengleesh?) Only, like, a week and I'm already steaming in here with the oh-so-glorious Part 3 of this life-affirming guide to getting on in the the LoBS (yes, that's right, LoBS - more on that later, my adoring audience). What drives me to do this for free? As a great philosopher once said, "Don't ask questions, ladies, just enjoy the prices!". Ok, so he wasn't quite Plato, but "Ackney's very own Big Dave" was a remarkably astute piss-artist.

First, let's recap. Before we worry about how to manage staying here, of course, we had to review WHY we want to stay here. For most, if not all, of the farang in Thailand that at least starts out, if not actually ends, with the LBFM (look it up, yo).

Part 1 covered the first and foremost definition of the phrase "Making it in Thailand". Of course, this really isn't for those of you already here, it's more for the great unwashed masses who have never been and are wondering about the reality behind all the fable and lore.

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August 26, 2005 | Lance Powers

Nightlife | Glow Club Grand Opening Tonight

Ok I did not write the following but I found it on a forum written by, I assume, someone connected with the club. If you remember Faith club GLow has the same location. Can't really say if it will be the same experience but I will give them a try tonight.

The answer is... GLOW!!!!!

OK, that is what we want to do...

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Posted by Lance Powers at 03:10 PM | Make a Comment! (8)